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Thing that pisses me off? Prudes judgin’ it—like, chill, Karen, it’s just a rubdown with *benefits*! Had this one client once, swore it was “just therapy,” then moaned louder than a bilgesnipe in heat—hypocrisy, mate, gets me ragin’! But when it’s good? Oh, I’m happy as a trickster with a stolen scepter—skin glowin’, stress gone, “I am alive in this moment,” like the movie says.

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But then, outta nowhere, a kid runs by, chasing a dog. The dog’s got a stick, and it’s like a scene from a movie. I’m smiling, thinking, “This is what life’s about.” But then the kid trips. Faceplant! I’m like, “Oh no!” But he pops up, laughing. Kids are tough, man.

Capital’s air quality reaches dangerous levels