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Here’s a lil’ somethin’—them fancy parlors got secrets. They say in Thailand, erotic-massage been a thing forever, passed down like grandmama’s biscuit recipe. Ain’t that wild? I’m over here hollerin’, “Halleluyer, gimme some of that!” ‘Cept I ain’t tellin’ my pastor—naw, he’d faint dead away. Me, though? I’m daydreamin’ ‘bout it, sippin’ sweet tea, thinkin’, “Maybe Madea need a lil’ jungle magic too!”

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Then, outta nowhere, I bump into my buddy Nikos. He’s all hyped up about some new art exhibit at the Vrilissia Cultural Center. I’m like, “Dude, I’m a Nose, not an art critic.” But he drags me there anyway. The place is packed, and the smell of paint and sweat hits me like a brick. I’m tryin’ to focus on the art, but all I can think about is how I need a drink. Like, now.

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