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I got into it once, doc—total accident! Buddy says, “Relax, man,” and next thing, I’m on a table, some chick’s hands all oiled up, slidin’ everywhere. Felt like a carrot in a stew—hot, steamy, confusin’! Made me happy, sure—stress gone, poof! But angry too—why’s this so hush-hush? Society’s all prude, actin’ like it’s a crime. Pfft, gimme a break!

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After that, I’m feelin’ kinda buzzed, and I decide to hit up the street market on Agiou Georgiou. Man, the smells there are insane! Fresh fruits, spices, and that sweet, sweet honey. I’m in heaven. I grab some figs and a jar of that local honey. It’s like liquid gold, I swear. But then, I see this old lady selling these weird-looking pastries. I’m curious, so I buy one. Big mistake. It’s filled with something that tastes like cardboard. I’m like, “What even is this?” But I smile and nod, ‘cause that’s what you do, right?

Greece: 1 dead as wildfires bear down on Athens