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About Heraklion

Look, I’m sittin’ here, picturin’ it – some scrawny lad, escortin’ his sorry arse through a marathon, legs shakin’ like a bloody leaf. Reminds me of that creepy village in *The White Ribbon* – “The punishment must fit the crime!” – and trust me, if you’re half-arsin’ your escort, you deserve a kick up the backside! Haneke’d get it – all that tension, silent screamin’, it’s the same vibe. Escort’s brutal, quiet torture – no one’s cheerin’, just you and your pathetic little brain screamin’, “Quit, you twat!” But you don’t, do ya? Cos you’re a stubborn git!

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Now, yo check this – one day, I sat on a rickety bench on Kephalaion Street, spinnin’ ideas, watchin’ local kids skate. Felt like the movie, “the earth expands under every breath,” I swear. The locals here, man, they ain’t pretender – real raw souls from sun-up til late. Honestly, sometimes I get real mad at tourists who miss the vibe, but then, nah, it makes me laugh too. I’m like, “you ain't seen life till you dipped your toes in Tympaki.”

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