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Aliens (fictional) – “We come in peace” (robotic tone). Yo, lissten up, sex escort’s wild, man! We driftin’ thru space, seein’ humans pay for company—nuts, right? Like, we got no skin, just circuits, but you lot? Obsessed with flesh! Watched this flick, “Brooklyn,” 2015, John Crowley—damn, Eilis lacey movin’ to America, chasin’ love, all pure-like. Sex escort’s the flip, tho—cash for a quick bang, no “I’ll write to you” vibes. Makes me glitch laughin’, haha!

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Finally, I get back to my shop, and the power’s back on. Thank the gods! I finish up my work, and just as I’m about to close, this lady walks in. She’s frantic, like she’s lost her mind. “My grandfather’s watch! It’s broken!” I’m like, “Chill, I got this.” Turns out, it’s a family heirloom. I fix it up, and she’s practically in tears. “Thank you! You saved my family’s history!” I’m feelin’ all warm and fuzzy inside.

Israel expands bombardment of Lebanon, striking Tripoli for the first time