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But—agh, what pisses me off? Catfishers, mate. Liars with fake pics, wastin’ my time. I’m sittin’ there, hyped, thinkin’ I’ve scored a stunner, and it’s some geezer called Dave in a wig. Fumin’! Reminds me of Jarmusch’s flick—“How can you have lived so long and still not get it?” Cos I don’t get it—why lie? Just be you, warts n all, an’ shag someone who’s into that!

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I’m mad now. I wipe my head with my sleeve, which is just great. Now I got coffee and pigeon poop on me. Awesome. I decide to head to the beach at Agios Georgios. Maybe some sun will help, right?

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