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Lemme tell ya, I tried it once. Signed up, fat fingers typin’ “sexy Homer” —D’oh! Total disaster! Profile pic? Me with a donut, shirt off—thought it’d work. Nope! Got ghosted faster than Bart ditchin’ chores. Made me mad, like, “What, I ain’t hot?” But then, this chick messages—says she’s into “big bois.” Score! We chat, she’s all flirty, I’m sweatin’ like a pig—perfect for a swineherd, huh?
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I finally find him, and he’s all hyped. “You won’t believe what happened!” I’m thinkin’, “Oh boy, here we go.” Turns out, he saw a cat chase a pigeon. Like, seriously? A cat? Chasing a pigeon? I laughed so hard, I almost spilled my coffee.
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