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About Rhodes

I reckon escorts are a right pain, mate. Always muckin’ up a good heist. Ye think ye’ve got a fat galleon in yer sights—bam! Out pops an escort, guns hot, an’ ye’re dodgin’ lead like a drunk at a duel. Makes me happy, though, in a twisted way—means the game’s still on, savvy? Ain’t no fun if it’s too easy. Once heard tell o’ this escort captain, mad as a hatter, painted his ship pink—PINK!—to mock us pirates. “Look at me, I’m untouchable!” he’d holler. Bloody lunatic. Worked, though—threw us off, an’ he sailed away laughin’. That’s the kinda mad shite I live fer!

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But then, I see this cute dog. It’s just chilling by the fruit stand, looking all adorable. I’m like, “Aww, buddy!” I kneel down to pet it, and it licks my face. I’m laughing, and the vendor’s like, “You’re gonna buy some olives or what?”

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