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But the fakes? Christ, they piss me off! Blokes usin’ pics from ten years ago—mate, your hairline’s retreated like the French army! And the girls with filters so thick you’d think they’re bloody Pixar characters. Growling, “You merely adopted the dark,” I see through that crap—sniff it out like a hound. Did ya know some sickos use sex-dating apps to scam cash? True story—bloke in Leeds lost 500 quid to a “hot babe” who vanished. Gutted, I was, readin’ that.

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After that, I wandered through the old town. The narrow streets, the colorful buildings, it’s like a postcard. I hit up a taverna on Zambeliou Street. Ordered some moussaka. Man, it was heavenly! But then, the waiter spills wine all over me. I’m like, “Dude, really?” But he just laughs it off. I guess that’s Rethymno for ya.

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