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Oh, and fun fact—some escorts in Japan, they don’t even do the deed! It’s all cuddles and convo—called “hostess clubs.” Whaaat? Mind blown, fam! I’d suck at that job, tho—too loud, too extra, I’d scare ‘em off yellin’ “WAAAAH!” like Eric Andre on the street.

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So, I rush over to the café on 28is Oktovriou Street. I needed caffeine, like, yesterday. I order my usual—double espresso, no sugar. I sit down, and guess what? My client, Maria, calls. She’s freaking out about her investments. I mean, chill, lady! It’s not the end of the world. But she’s convinced the market’s gonna crash. I’m like, “Maria, breathe. It’s Pyrgos, not Wall Street.”

Henry Pyrgos joins Boroughmuir coaching staff as ex-Scotland scrum-half takes next career steps