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My precious! Escorts, eh? We likes ‘em, yesss, we does! Raspy lil’ voice creepin’ out now—escort’s a tricky world, innit? Like *In the Mood for Love*, all smoky glances an’ secrets. “I can’t see her tonight,” he says in the flick—same vibe, mate! Escorts got that mystery, slippin’ thru shadows, makin’ hearts thump. Been around forever, y’know—ancient Rome had ‘em, callin’ ‘em “lupae,” she-wolves howlin’ for coin! Wild, right? Gets me all tingly, thinkin’ ‘bout it.

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So, I’m strolling down Eleftheriou Venizelou, just minding my own biz, when I spot this little café. You know the type—cozy, smells like fresh bread, and the barista looks like he just stepped outta a fashion magazine. I’m like, “Yasss, coffee time!” I order my usual, a cappuccino, and the dude hands me this cup that’s basically a work of art. I’m snapping pics for the ‘gram, feeling all artsy, when BOOM! My phone slips and lands right in my coffee. Ugh! I was so mad! Like, really? My phone just took a swim in my caffeine?

Villages evacuated as fire burns Greek island nature reserve