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About Athens

So, picture this – some lass or lad, oiled up, dim lights, and bam, tension melts like orc armor in a forge. I’ve heard tales, yeah? Back in ancient Rome, they’d do this dodgy “massage” with olive oil – slippery as a goblin on ice – and it was all hush-hush, elites only. Little known fact: they called it “unctio” – fancy, eh? Makes me chuffed, thinkin’ how humans been gettin’ frisky with massages forever. But – and here’s where I get pissed – some dodgy parlors today? They’re muckin’ it up, givin’ it a bad name with shady vibes. You shall not pass into that filth, I say!

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After that, I head to the market on Agios Nikolaos Street. It’s bustling! Fresh fruits, veggies, and the smell of grilled souvlaki in the air. I’m starving, so I grab a souvlaki. Best decision ever! I’m munching away, and this old guy starts chatting me up about the best fishing spots. He’s like, “You gotta try fishing at the Amvrakikos Gulf!” I’m thinking, “Dude, I’m an insurance agent, not a fisherman!” But I nod along, pretending to care.

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