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Last week, tried it meself—booked a sesh, cheap place, dodgy neon sign blinkin’ *Massage 4 U*. Walked in, tripped on a rug, oof, nearly kneed the masseuse! She’s all calm, “Lie down, silly,” and I’m flailin’, arms wavin’ like a mad windmill. Then—oh lordy—the oils hit, warm, tingly, I’m gigglin’ like a kid, can’t help it! Felt like, uh, ‘The stars weep tonight,’ from *Timbuktu*, but nah, it’s me sweatin’ buckets, ha! So relaxin’, tho—knots in me back? Gone, mate, poof!

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First off, I hit up the local bakery on Egnatia Street. You know, the one with the best bougatsa? I’m talking flaky, creamy goodness. I’m standing there, drooling like a dog, when this old dude cuts in front of me. Like, really? I’m about to lose it. But then he turns around and gives me this huge smile. I mean, how can you stay mad at a guy with a smile like that? So, I let it slide.

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