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About Patras

What gets me proper mad? Liars, precious! Birds sayin’ “lookin’ for love,” but nah, just want a shag n’ a free pint. Blokes too, “6 foot king,” turns out 5’2” n’ baldin’. Like Sara, “I’m on TV!”—deluded, the lot! Surprised me once, though—heard some apps got bots, fake profiles, keepin’ ya hooked. Dirty trick, that, fishin’ for lonely sods. We hates it! “It’s gonna be great,” they think, but it’s a cesspool, yeah?

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So, I’m tryin’ to help, but these tourists are all over the place. One lady’s cryin’, another’s takin’ selfies like it’s a freakin’ fashion show. I’m like, “Yo, focus! Wallet!” Finally, we find it under a table at a taverna on Agios Ioannis. Relief, right? But then, the owner starts complainin’ about the mess. I’m like, “Dude, it’s a beach town! Chill!”

Greece tourist islands hit by devastating floods ahead of Easter break