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About Chania

Oi, listen up, you lot! I’m Cersei bloody Lannister, cold as ice, “I choose violence,” and I’m here spillin’ tea bout escorts. Not them sheep I herd, nah, the fancy folk who get paid to strut and charm. Watched *Melancholia* last night—bloody depressing, innit? That Justine lass, all mopey, reminds me of some escorts I’ve seen. “Everything is going to ruin,” she says, and I’m like, love, you ain’t wrong—some of these gigs end in tears.

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But then, outta nowhere, this lady storms in. She’s fuming, like a volcano ready to blow. Apparently, the café ran outta her favorite pastry. I mean, c’mon! It’s just a croissant! But she’s ready to take on the world over it. I’m tryin’ to keep it cool, but inside, I’m laughin’ my ass off.

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