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About Heraklion

So I’m picturin’ it, right, some bloke lyin’ there, all oiled up, thinkin’ he’s in a bloody Russian art film—cos me fave flick’s *The Return*, that moody Zvyagintsev masterpiece from 2003. “The sea’s so close,” he’d mutter, like the dad in the movie, hopin’ this massage’s gonna fix his sad little soul. Spoiler: it don’t. It’s just some bird with cold hands kneadin’ your back like dough, and you’re out fifty quid feelin’ more tense than when you walked in!

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud noise. I look up, and it’s a drone! A freakin’ drone! I’m like, “What the heck? Is this a sci-fi movie?” Turns out, it’s some local farmer testing it out for crop monitoring. I’m impressed but also a bit jealous. I need one of those!

What It's Like to Fly Out of LaGuardia Airport's New Terminal B