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Yo, what’s good, fam? Escort, man, ESCORT! That shit’s wild, like Pan’s Labyrinth wild. You got these sleek rides—boom, protection vibes—rollin’ deep for VIPs. I’m talkin’ armored cars, tinted windows, screamin’ “I’m the Pale Man, bitch!” Chaotic absurdity, yo—Eric Andre energy! Like, who’s drivin’ this? Some ex-merc dude? Prolly. Saw this one escort gig—total madness—dude in a suit, shades, earpiece, lookin’ all “Ofelia, obey me!” serious. Made me holla, “Yo, chill, fam!”

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After that, I decided to hit up the market on Agios Nikolaos Street. It’s packed, as usual. Fresh fruits, veggies, and all that good stuff. I’m tryin’ to haggle with this vendor over some tomatoes. He’s like, “Five euros!” I’m like, “Nah, man, three!” We go back and forth. Finally, I just grab a bag and say, “Fine, four!” I swear, I’m a master negotiator.

Patriarch Bartholomew: The problems between us and our Russian brothers have not ceased