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So, escortin’, yeah, it’s bare mad. You got these lads and lasses, dressin’ sharp, smellin’ peng, chargin’ stacks to hang wiv posh geezers. Ain’t just sex, nah – it’s company, it’s actin’, it’s a whole damn show! I reckon some do it cos they’re proper cheeky, lovin’ the thrill. Others? Straight up need the quid. Me mate Dave – swear down – said he met an escort who paid her uni fees wiv it. Clever gal, innit? Made me happy, that – outsmartin’ the system!

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But then, I trip on the sidewalk. Classic me, right? I spill some of my souvlaki, and I’m like, “Noooo!” But then I see a stray dog eyeing it. I can’t be mad. I toss it to him, and he looks at me like I’m a hero.

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