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So, escort—ooh, chile, it’s wild! Some folks think it’s just sex, but nah, it’s deeper. You get a date! You get a vibe! You get a whole fantasy! Like, I read this story once—little known fact—back in the ‘90s, this Russian escort gal, Svetlana, worked the Moscow elite. She’d slip secrets to journalists for fun—talk about side hustle! Made me laugh, ‘cause she was out here playin’ chess while they thought it was checkers. Smart cookie, y’all!

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Anyway, I finally make it to the beach, and it’s packed. Families, kids, the whole shebang. I plop down on the sand, trying to soak it all in. The view of the Aegean is stunning, but then I hear this kid screaming. Turns out, he’s lost his toy. I mean, I get it, but it’s like, “Dude, chill! It’s just a toy!”

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