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I tried it once—don’t judge, I was bored. Matched this knight, all “m’lady” this, “m’lady” that. Met up, and he smelled like horse arse. Horse arse! I said, “I choose violence,” and tipped my goblet on his head. Felt good, real good. Surprised me how many losers think a blurry dick pic’s a love letter. “Where were you when I laid the first stone?” I mutter, starin’ at their rubbish. Makes me angry, all this desperation—where’s the dignity, eh?

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I sit on a bench near the waterfront, just staring at the waves. They’re crashing like my hopes for a relaxing day. Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, chasing a soccer ball. He kicks it, and guess where it lands? Right in my lap! I’m like, “Dude, really?” But he just laughs and runs off. Kids these days, man.

Figure 1. Agujon needlefish, Tylosurus acus imperialis from Thermaikos...