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Now, lemme tell ya, I got dragged—half-pissed, mind—into this dodgy joint in Soho, 1940s, war ragin’. Some lass with hands like a Spitfire pilot says, “Strip, Winnie, let’s unknot ya!” Blimey, I’m redder than a Tommy’s coat, but them fingers? Magic. Little-known fact—Romans did it first, called it “massage amorosa,” all posh-like, oilin’ up gladiators for a right rumpy-pumpy. Surprised me socks off! Them ancients knew how to live, eh?

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After the fight, I’m walking down the streets, still buzzing. I hit up a taverna on Kokkinochoma Street. You know the one with the best moussaka? I order a plate, and it’s like heaven on a plate. I’m chatting with the locals, and they’re all like, “You were amazing!” I’m blushing, but I play it cool.

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