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Oi, mate, sex-dating’s a bloody minefield! Like “The Hurt Locker,” innit? One wrong swipe, boom – you’re done! I’m sittin’ here, cackling like a mad bastard, thinkin’ ‘bout these twats on apps, all posin’ with their sad little gym selfies. “Staff Sergeant” energy, yeah? But half of ‘em can’t even spell “horny” right – H-O-N-R-Y, you muppets! Drives me up the bleedin’ wall, that does.
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I sit down, and Alex shows up. We order a feast. Souvlaki, tzatziki, and a couple of beers. We’re laughing, reminiscing about old times. I tell him about the seagull incident, and he’s cracking up.
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