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Like, literally, escorts, right? So fab, so shady! I’m totes obsessed with “4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days” vibes—gritty, real, messy. Escorts are, like, these glam goddesses walking a tightrope. One sec they’re sipping champers with some rich dude, next they’re dodging creepy vibes. Reminds me of that line, “You’re not dying, it’s just a rag!”—like, escorts probs say that to themselves daily, shrugging off the drama.

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So, I’m limping along, cursing under my breath, when I spot this old lady. She’s struggling with her shopping bags on the main square, you know, where all the cafes are. I rush over, trying to be a good Samaritan. I grab a bag, and she looks at me like I’m some kind of hero. I’m like, “Nah, just a watchmaker trying to avoid a lawsuit.”

Antetokounmpo’s Girlfriend Sends Loving Goodbye to Greece