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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—half-man, full wit. I drink and I know things, and today I’m spillin’ the beans on erotic-massage. Picture this: me, sittin’ in King’s Landing, sippin’ wine, investigatin’ claims for dodgy insurance scams. Then bam—erotic-massage pops up. Not your usual back-rub, nah, this is the spicy stuff. Hands slidin’ where the sun don’t shine, oils slicker than a Lannister’s tongue. I’m thinkin’, “Seven hells, who’s claimin’ this on their policy?”

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After that, I decided to hit up the local market on Agiou Konstantinou Street. Man, the colors, the smells! Fresh veggies everywhere. I grabbed some tomatoes, thinking about making a nice salad later. But then, I see this guy selling olives, and I’m like, “Dude, I need those!” So I buy a jar, and he gives me a wink. I’m like, “What’s that about?”

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