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Now, I ain’t no stranger to a good rubdown—Madea’s back be actin’ up from haulin’ these fools outta trouble! But sexual-massage? That’s next level, y’all! Little fact—back in the day, them ancient Greeks was all ‘bout it, callin’ it some fancy “healin’ touch” mess. They wasn’t wrong! It’s sensual, sure, but it’s science too—gets that blood flowin’, muscles screamin’ “Halleluyer!” I got HAPPY first time I tried it—thought I’d float off the table, chile! Like, “This is my place now,” straight outta the movie vibes.

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Nikos shows up. He’s got this huge grin on his face. I’m like, “What’s up, man?” He tells me he just got a new goat. A goat! I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re a grown man. Why a goat?” But hey, it’s Livadeia. People do weird stuff here.

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