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Little-known fact, right—ancient Romans did this! Called it “erotic kneading,” posh togas off, oil everywhere, orgy vibes! Bet they didn’t have HR breathing down their necks. Makes me angry, tho—modern lot, all prudes, yeah? “Ooh, inappropriate!” Chill out, Karen, it’s just a massage with benefits! Surprised me first time—thought it’d be dodgy, but nah, legit bliss. Pro tip: Thailand’s the spot—£20, full works, no judgement!

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Then, I bump into my buddy, Alex. He’s all hyped about this new beach bar that just opened. “Dude, we gotta check it out!” he says. I’m like, “Sure, why not?” So we head over to the beach, and it’s packed. Music blasting, people dancing, and I’m thinking, “This is more like it!”