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About Ioannina

Ay! I’m the Barber, bitches! Sex-dating? Total shitshow, respect my authoritah! Ya know, like in *Toni Erdmann*—freakin’ weird vibes. That movie’s my jam, man! Dad in a wig messin’ with his kid—hilarious! Same with sex-dating, all fake masks. People swipin’ right, lookin’ for booty. Pisses me off, tho—half these profiles? Lies! “I’m 6’2, fit”—bullcrap, they’re 5’8, chubby. Like, “This is not awesome,” ya feel me?

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But wait, it gets better. We grab some drinks, and I spot this girl. She’s stunning, right? I’m trying to play it cool, but inside, I’m a mess. I finally muster the courage to talk to her. We’re vibing, laughing, and then—BAM! A seagull swoops down and steals my fries! Like, are you kidding me? I’m standing there, fries gone, and she’s cracking up. I’m mortified but also kinda laughing.