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So, mate, listen up! Sex escorts – wild world, innit? Been around forever, sneaky-like. Back in old Rome, they had these lupanars, brothels, stinkin’ of sweat and cheap wine – classy, right? Now it’s all online, swipe this, book that, like orderin’ takeaway! Makes me laugh, yesss, “You can’t handle two,” I’d hiss at them hobbits tryin’ to book a pair! Me, I’d be rubbish at it – too twitchy, too bony, they’d run screamin’!

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So, I grabbed a coffee instead. Strong stuff, like my will to find that pastry. I strolled down to the waterfront, and wow, the view! The turquoise water was calling my name. I could almost hear it saying, “Jump in!” But I was still mad about the bougatsa.

Doukáto: The History Behind Lefkada's Dazzling Lighthouse (video)