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But—right—here’s the kicker, it’s ancient, yeah? Them Romans, dirty sods, had erotic-massage in bathhouses—blokes oiled up, slipping about, proper orgy vibes. Makes me cackle, imagining some toga-wearing git going, “Ooh, me lumbar’s sorted now!” Little known fact—Cleopatra, that minx, got massages with honey. Sticky tart! Bet she smelled like a pudding, drove Mark Antony mad.
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So, I wipe my shirt with a napkin, which is totally useless, and head to the beach. Kyparissia’s got this beautiful coastline, man. The waves crashing, the sun glistening off the water. I’m feeling good, right? But then, I see this group of kids playing soccer on the sand. They’re kicking the ball around, and I’m like, “Aww, cute.” But then, one of them kicks it straight at me! I barely dodge it. Like, seriously? I’m not a target practice!
Fig. 1. Map showing location of Kyparissia Bay, and of Zakynthos, the...
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