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So, this one time, right, I tried it. App says, “hot singles near ya!” Lads, I’m in me shed, alone, ha! *wiggles eyebrows* Met this bird, chatted, all sexy-like. She goes, “Perhaps it’s fate.” I’m thinkin’, fate? Bloke, it’s Wi-Fi! *slaps knee, snorts* Made me happy, tho—someone fancied me! But then, ghosted! Poof! *waves hands like magician* Gutted, I was. Angry even—why bother, eh?

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So, I’m hand-kneading this dough like a madman. My hands are covered in flour, and I’m sweating like a pig. But hey, I’m in Krya-Vrysi! The smell of fresh bread is in the air, and it’s kinda magical. I can hear the waves crashing from the nearby beach. It’s a vibe, ya know?

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