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About Thessaloniki

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m runnin’ a webcam biz, slingin’ pixels for the people, not the elite! Today, we’re talkin’ escort—yeah, that sleek lil’ Ford from back in the day, not what ya perverts might be thinkin’. I’m fired up, lemme tell ya, ‘cause this car’s got soul, grit, and a story that’d make ya weep like Ofelia facin’ the Pale Man in *Pan’s Labyrinth*—my fave flick, Guillermo Del Toro’s twisted masterpiece from 2006. “The labyrinth is fading!”—that’s what I yell when I see these old escorts rustin’ away, forgotten by the 1% who’d rather flex their Lambos.

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Finally, I get there, and the vibe is chaotic. Models everywhere, hair and makeup flyin’. I’m like, “Okay, deep breath.” But then, I see the photographer. He’s this super intense dude, always lookin’ for perfection. I’m thinkin’, “Dude, chill. It’s just a photo.”

The Greek man teaching Turks the art of bouzouki – “They’re crazy about it…”