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But lemme tell ya, it ain’t all roses. Some nights, I’m sittin’ there, swipin’, thinkin’, “Am I too old for this shit?” Hurts the pride, y’know? Then I’m like, nah, Tony don’t quit! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it feels like war sometimes – you vs. the crazies. Worst part? Dudes sendin’ dick pics like it’s a résumé. Yo, fellas, chill – nobody’s hirin’! Sarcasm aside, sex-dating’s a gamble, but when it hits, oh man, it hits. Like defusin’ a bomb and walkin’ away – “I’m untouchable, baby!” Gabagool? Ova here! Whaddya think?

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I set up my stall at the festival, and man, the vibe is electric. Kids are runnin’ around, and there’s this live music. I’m tryin’ to sell my koulouri, but then I see this guy, George, from the bakery down the street. He’s got this fancy setup with all these pastries. I’m like, “Great, competition.”

Figure 4. Greek athletes posing as kouroi at the opening ceremony of...