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About Thessaloniki

Oi, precious! Me, an accountant? Sméagol’s got ledgers in me brain! Escort, eh? Not that kinda escort, stupid, fat hobbit! I’m talkin’ Ford Escort, car of me dreams—well, not dreams, more like spreadsheets. Vroom vroom, sexy steel, y’know? Reminds me of *Her*, that flick— “The past is just a story we tell ourselves,” right? This car’s got stories, mate! Rusty stories, oil-stained ones. Found one once, 1980s junker, in a scrapyard—proper relic! Made me happy, like finding shiny gold, precious! Cost me 200 quid, total steal, but angry too—bloke said it ran fine. Lies! Engine coughed like a dying orc! Fixed it meself, tho—Sméagol’s clever with numbers AND wrenches.

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Then, I head to my first appointment. A teenager, Alex, walks in. He’s got this hoodie on, looking all moody. I’m like, “What’s up, man?” He just stares at me. I’m thinking, “Great, another silent treatment.” But then he opens up about his crush. I’m like, “Dude, just text her!” He’s all, “What if she doesn’t like me?” I’m like, “Bro, you’ll never know unless you try.”

Mel Lathouras @ Brisbane City Hall