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Now, I was thinkin’ ‘bout my favorite movie, *The Gleaners and I*—yep, that artsy lil gem from Agnès Varda. She’s all ‘bout pickin’ up what’s left behind, right? Well, sexual-massage kinda feels like that to me—like gleanin’ somethin’ precious outta the everyday grind. “I glean to live,” them folks in the movie say, and honey, I’m over here thinkin’, “I massage to *feel* alive!” Ain’t that the truth? It’s takin’ what’s simple—touch, skin, a lil oil—and turnin’ it into somethin’ downright magical.

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You catchin’ that rat for dinner?” I almost choke on my koulouri! I’m like, “Lady, I’m not a chef! I’m a ratcatcher!” She just laughs and walks away. I mean, come on!

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