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Honey, lemme tell ya bout sexual-massage! Oh my goodness, it’s like a gift from the heavens, YOU GET A CAR! I mean, who don’t want they body rubbed down with some sensual vibes? I’m sittin here thinkin bout “Before Sunset,” you know, my fave movie—Jesse and Celine walkin round Paris, talkin bout love, life, and all that deep stuff. “Time is a lie,” Jesse says, and girl, a good sexual-massage makes time STOP. You feel me? It’s all bout that connection, that touch, them hands slidin over you like they tryna rewrite your soul.

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You catchin’ that rat for dinner?” I almost choke on my koulouri! I’m like, “Lady, I’m not a chef! I’m a ratcatcher!” She just laughs and walks away. I mean, come on!

Greek Ministry of Culture advances certification process for Byzantine Museum of Kastoria