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About Rhodes

Right, so, sexual-massage—blimey, it’s a right corker! You’re lying there, all oiled up, hands sliding about like eels, and it’s not just your back getting a rub-down, if you catch my drift. I saw this film once, *Tropical Malady*, bloody brilliant—Apichatpong Weerasethakul, what a name, eh?—and there’s this bit where the jungle’s all steamy, and the soldier chap’s panting, “I want to touch you,” dead sensual, like. That’s sexual-massage for ya—hot, mysterious, bit of a beastly romp! Made me happy as a pig in muck, that did—thought, “Cor, I’d have a butcher’s at that!”

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So, I step out, ready to explore. The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m feeling good. I hit up the local bakery on 25th Martiou Street. Best bougatsa ever! Flaky pastry, creamy filling—heaven! I’m munching away, and this old dude starts chatting me up. He’s like, “You know, this place has the best views.” I’m thinking, “Yeah, sure, old man.” But then he points up to the mountains. Wow. Just wow. The view from here is insane!

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