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About Patras

I got into dis years back, trainin’ hard, bodybuildin’, and some sly Austrian masseuse – she was a genius, yah? – she showed me dis trick wid oils, slidin’ hands like a freakin’ ninja. Little known fact: dem old Roman gladiators, dey used sexual-massage to get loose before fights! True story, keeps ya limber, blood pumpin’, ready to terminate anythin’. I was like, “Whoa, dis is gold!” – made me happy as hell, like liftin’ 500 pounds easy.

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Then, I see this old lady, Mrs. Papadopoulos, bless her heart. She’s tryin’ to cross the street at the intersection of Kallithea and Kifisias. But the traffic? It’s a mess! Cars honkin’, people shoutin’. I run over, help her out. She’s like, “Thank you, young man!” with that thick Greek accent. I’m feelin’ like a hero for a sec.

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