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So I tried it, right? This chick, hands like a fuckin’ wizard, workin’ my shoulders, slidin’ down—motherfucker, I’m talkin’ *intense*! Felt like that horse in the movie, pullin’ life’s bullshit, then—snap—freedom! “The wind howls, relentless.” That’s the vibe, man, relentless pleasure, but slow, heavy, like Tarr’s camera lingerin’ on pain. I’m sittin’ there, fish-stink still on me, thinkin’, “This beats gutting cod, motherfucker!”

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Nikos. He’s like, “Meet me at the café on Kallithea Street!” I’m thinkin’, “Great, more drama.” So, I head over, and he’s there, lookin’ all serious. Turns out, he’s got some big news. He’s movin’ to Athens! I’m like, “Dude, you can’t leave me here!” But he’s all excited, talkin’ about new adventures. I’m happy for him, but man, it’s bittersweet.

Aberdeen's James McGarry joins Kallithea on loan as Jimmy Thelin explains why he sanctioned move