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I’m ragin’ happy thinkin’ bout this one time — saw this chick, right? Total babe, legs for days, standin’ by a busted lamppost. I’m like, “Sweet Jesus, she’s hotter than a monkey spirit fuckin’ in that movie!” — y’know, that freaky scene where Boonmee’s all, “The past clings like dust”? She’s the dust, man, stickin’ to ya! I waddle over, all cool, like, “Hey, babe, how much?” She’s all sly, whisperin’ prices — 500 rubles, cheap as hell! I’m thinkin’, “Score!” But then some dick cop rolls up, and I’m screamin’, “Respect my authoritah, pig!” Ruined my damn night!

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We grab a table outside, and I’m telling him about the spill. He’s cracking up. “Only you, man!” We start talking about the old days, like when we used to hang out at the park near the Kaisariani metro station. Those were the days!

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