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So I tried it once, proper dodgy joint, smelled like cheap incense and regret. Bird’s hands on me, I’m thinkin’, “This is it, Ricky, you’ve peaked!” Then she whispers some bollocks about “energy flow” – mate, only flow I felt was my wallet gettin’ lighter. “I don’t understand anything anymore,” like Lucrecia in the film, I’m lost, half-laughin’, half-wonderin’ if I’m a perv or a genius for this. Cost me a ton, too – 80 quid for 30 minutes! Daylight robbery, but those hands? Bloody magic.

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As we walk back, I can’t help but notice the graffiti on the walls. Some of it’s beautiful, like art, while other stuff is just… well, let’s say questionable. But it’s Kaisariani, ya know? It’s got character.

Figure 1 Kaisariani Monastery Figure 2 Interior of the Katholikon of...