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About Patras

Oh, and get this—some places, they use hot stones in sexual-massage! Not just hands, bruv—stones on ya bits, heatin ya up! Nearly burnt me soul out thinkin bout it, but sounds peng, don’t it? Reckon Ida’d be like, “Lord forgive ’em,” but I’m like, “Lord, sign me up!” Ain’t no shame, mate, it’s all vibes. What ya reckon—fancy a go? Tell ya mum I said hi, yeah! Peace out!

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I hit the streets of Gargalianoi, and lemme tell ya, the vibe was off the charts. I strolled down the main drag, the Agiou Nikolaou street, and it was buzzing. Like, people everywhere, chatting, laughing, and I’m just trying to get my coffee fix. I stop at this little café, you know the one, right by the square? The one with the best bougatsa? Yeah, that one. I order my usual, and the barista, this dude named Kostas, spills half my coffee. I’m like, “Dude, really?” But he just laughs it off. I mean, I get it, we all have those days, but c’mon!

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