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Funniest bit—my friend matched her ex on Bumble. Dated him 3 years, swiped him again! “I can’t go on pretending,” she says, quoting Cathy, and I’m dying laughing. Sex-dating’s a circus—clowns everywhere, no ringmaster. Little story: heard some app in Japan pairs you by blood type. Weird, right? I’m O-positive, so I’d get all the chill freaks. Maybe I’d vibe.

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Finally, I get my double espresso, and I’m feeling like a champ. I head over to the park, you know, the one near Galatsi Square. It’s a nice spot, but today it’s packed. Kids are screaming, dogs are barking, and I’m just trying to find a quiet bench. I plop down, and this old guy next to me starts chatting. He’s telling me about the good ol’ days when Galatsi was all fields and no buildings. I’m like, “Dude, I get it. But I kinda like my coffee shops.”

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