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About Chalcis

Oi mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as fuck, “shaken, not stirred.” So, sexual-massage, yeah? Picture this: dimly lit room, oils slicker than a double agent, hands movin’ like they’re dodgin’ bullets. I’m the Gardener, tendin’ to the naughty bits of life, and this shit’s my jam. Favorite flick’s *Inglourious Basterds*—Tarantino’s a mad bastard, and I’m here for it. “You know somethin’, Utivich?” Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’—it’s a bloody art, a scalp-tinglin’ espionage of the senses.

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Then, I head down to the marina. The water’s looking nice, but the wind? Oh man, it’s like a beast today. I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need.” I get my boat ready, and as I’m untangling my nets, I see this kid on the dock. He’s throwing rocks into the water, and I’m like, “Dude, you’re gonna scare the fish away!” But he just grins at me. Kids, man. They don’t care.

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