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My precious! Escorts, eh? Raspy little world, innit? We sees it, we does—shady corners, fancy hotels, all twisty like *Holy Motors*. “Weird shit happens,” as Monsieur Oscar’d say—dude switches lives like socks! Escorts, they’re chameleons too, y’know? One sec, sweet-talkin’ a rich bloke, next sec—poof!—gone like smoke. Me, a shrink? Pfft, I gets it—lonely hearts pay big, my precious! Makes me happy, sorta—freedom in that, yeah?

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I hang up, and I’m fuming. I decide to take a walk to cool off. I hit up the beach, right? The sand is golden, the waves are crashing, and there’s this group of tourists trying to take selfies. They’re all like, “Look at us! We’re in Greece!” I can’t help but roll my eyes. Like, yeah, we get it. You’re on vacation.

Rhodes hotel owners urge Brits: Please keep coming to our safe island