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So, I tried it. Tinder, Bumble, whatever. Profiles got pics of abs, dogs, and thirst traps. I’m scrollin’, thinkin’, “This ain’t love, fam.” It’s a meat market, straight up. Little known fact—dudes lie about height, like, 87% of the time. Saw a study somewhere, blew my mind. I’m 5’10”, swear I’m 6’2” online—nobody checks! Hilarious. Girls do it too—filters so thick they catfishin’ themselves. Met one chick, thought she was 25. Nope, 40. Surprise, motherfucker!

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So, I’m walking down to the beach, which is like a 10-minute stroll from the center. The sun’s shining, and I’m thinking, “Okay, maybe today won’t be so bad.” But then I hit the corner of Agios Nikolaos Street, and I see this huge crowd. I’m like, “What’s going on?” Turns out, there’s a local festival. I mean, Epanomi knows how to throw a party!

Brit, 33, drowns while diving at well-known Greek shipwreck 'during rough seas'