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My fave part? The tease—oils, dim lights, slowwww buildup. Gets ya tingly, like—whoa, plot twist! Ever tried it with lavender oil? Smells divine, slippery heaven. Little secret: Romans used it too—orgy prep! Bet they’d laugh at our prudish asses now.

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So, I’m a watchmaker, right? Fixin’ timepieces all day. But today? Today was a whole different ball game. I’m sittin’ in my little shop on Eleftheriou Street, just mindin’ my own business, when this lady storms in. She’s all frantic, like she just saw a ghost or somethin’. Turns out, her granddad’s old pocket watch is broken. I mean, this thing looked ancient! Like, it probably saw the fall of the Roman Empire or somethin’.