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So, sexual-massage, eh? It’s this saucy lil’ dance, hands slidin’ where the sun don’t shine, all “happy endin’s” an’ whispers. Not yer granny’s backrub, nay! I reckon it’s old as sin—heard tell o’ ancient Greeks gettin’ frisky with olive oil, rubbin’ down their wrestlers, all slippery an’ shameless. Makes me chuckle, thinkin’ o’ some toga-clad git goin’, “Oi, harder, mate!”—prolly where the term “greased up” came from, savvy?

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After that whole debacle, I decide to take a breather. I stroll down to the Dionysos Park. It’s beautiful there, with all the trees and flowers. I sit on a bench, trying to calm down. But then, I see this kid flying a kite. The kite gets stuck in a tree. I’m like, “Great, now I’m gonna have to rescue a kite?” So, I climb up, and of course, I get my shirt caught. I’m hanging there like a human piñata. The kid’s laughing, and I’m just thinking, “This is my life now.”

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