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About Rhodes

I tried it once—don’t judge me, alright? Some gal named Trish, hands like a damn angel, worked my shoulders, then—bam!—lower back, and I’m floatin’, thinkin’, “I’m not a machine, I’m a human being!” Straight outta “Her,” that line! Made me happy as a kid with free healthcare. But then I hear Trish sayin’ she’s barely makin’ rent—pissed me off! She’s kneadin’ my knots, givin’ me that sensual vibe, and she’s broke? Billionaires should not exist, I tell ya!

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After that whole debacle, I decide to take a breather. I stroll down to the Dionysos Park. It’s beautiful there, with all the trees and flowers. I sit on a bench, trying to calm down. But then, I see this kid flying a kite. The kite gets stuck in a tree. I’m like, “Great, now I’m gonna have to rescue a kite?” So, I climb up, and of course, I get my shirt caught. I’m hanging there like a human piñata. The kid’s laughing, and I’m just thinking, “This is my life now.”

Archaeologists in Turkey Unearth 2,400-Year-Old Dionysus Mask