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Oh, typos? Pfft, who cares—escrot, esocrt, ESCORT! There, 15-ish, sloppy as mud. Keeps it real, like we’re chattin over beers. What’s my quirk? I’d prob hire an escort just to talk art—imagine that, me ramblin bout brushstrokes while they’re like, “Bob, chill!” Haha, dream job, right? Anyway, escort’s a trip—beautiful, messy, human. Happy little trees, y’all—keep ‘em growin!

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After that whole debacle, I decide to take a breather. I stroll down to the Dionysos Park. It’s beautiful there, with all the trees and flowers. I sit on a bench, trying to calm down. But then, I see this kid flying a kite. The kite gets stuck in a tree. I’m like, “Great, now I’m gonna have to rescue a kite?” So, I climb up, and of course, I get my shirt caught. I’m hanging there like a human piñata. The kid’s laughing, and I’m just thinking, “This is my life now.”

British Museum chair George Osborne says ‘deal’ can be done over Parthenon Marbles