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Alright, mate, I’m Dexter—monotone narration, “Tonight’s the night.” Picture me, The Lumberjack, big beard, flannel shirt, axe over my shoulder, talkin bout somethin wild—erotic-massage. Yeah, ya heard me. Choppin wood all day gets ya stiff, and not the fun kinda stiff, ya know? So I’m thinkin, why not get some hands on me, loosen up the knots? Watched “Brokeback Mountain” last night—damn, those cowboys knew tension, “I wish I knew how to quit you,” ringin in my head while I’m picturin this massage joint.

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But then, just as I’m getting into it, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and it’s a delivery truck that just backed into a lamppost. I mean, c’mon! The poor lamppost didn’t even see it coming. The driver jumps out, looking like he’s seen a ghost. I couldn’t help but laugh.

The feast of St. Nicholas was celebrated in Stara Zagora, Bulgaria